During elections, the fear of losing our rights can magnify the tensions we already feel living in a divided world. Taking a dialectical approach reminds us that two seemingly opposing truths can coexist. It lets us see beyond polarizing narratives and encourages constructive dialogue. (Yes! Constructive dialogue still exists!) It also teaches us that there are multiple ways to view a situation and solve a problem. 

 

Exploring contradictory perspectives from a place that encourages understanding and integration means we can avoid conflict and the need to convince the other person that they’re wrong. Remember: everything and everyone is connected and change is the only true constant. This simple mantra can help ground us, especially during turbulent times. 

 

Here are a few examples of all-or-nothing thinking and their dialectical counterparts.

 

All-or-nothing: “I feel betrayed and frustrated. Everything is falling apart. There's so much division and hostility. It's overwhelming and exhausting.”

 

Dialectical: “I hear you. It does feel like the country is more divided than ever. But this may be an opportunity to learn and grow. Perhaps these tensions are urging us to confront issues we've overlooked for too long and rebuild from a place of understanding.”

 

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All-or-nothing: “It's hard to see the positive when there's so much pain and uncertainty. People are losing trust in this flawed system.”

 

Dialectical: “Trust is a critical issue, and rebuilding it will take time. Maybe acknowledging our vulnerabilities and pain can be the first step toward healing and finding common ground.”

 

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All-or-nothing: “Embracing uncertainty feels risky and unpredictable. I want to feel safe.”

 

Dialectical: “Seeking safety is a natural response. But acknowledging our fear and using it to inspire meaningful conversations and actions could help us find new paths forward.”

The Healing Powers of Validation

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After elections, many people worry about the potential erosion of democracy and of their rights, fueling fears of civil unrest. If your political views differ from those around you, you might feel invisible. Healing from election-related trauma is a tough road to travel without validation. To return to a place of balance, the survival brain needs to trust that the threat—whether to ourselves, safety, or loved ones—is truly over. A big part of this trust comes from seeing or hearing others acknowledge our feelings and personal experience. If you're nodding along, chances are you've felt dismissed, misunderstood, or belittled at some point in your life. 

 

Validation doesn't mean agreeing with everything someone says or does. It's more about acknowledging emotions, thoughts, and behaviors rather than deciding who's right or wrong. The goal is to find relatable bits in opposing views without jumping to conclusions. It's a learned skill that requires practice, but it's one that can make a world of difference in how we connect to others—even when we don’t see eye to eye. It also reminds us that we’re not alone on this journey. 

 

As you consider the following examples, take a moment to think about some of your own recent conversations. How do (or don’t) these examples apply to your experiences?

 

Acknowledging emotions: “It’s completely understandable to feel a whirlwind of emotions right now. Your feelings of loss and uncertainty are valid.”

 

Recognizing the desire to escape: “If you feel like packing your bags and leaving the country, that’s a natural response to overwhelming fear. It’s okay to seek safety.”

 

Validating anger and frustration: “When you want to burn things down out of frustration, it makes sense given the injustices you feel. Your anger is justified.”

 

Understanding withdrawal or avoidance: “Feeling like disappearing or just hiding under the covers is perfectly valid. It’s okay to take a break.”

 

Normalizing discomfort in conversations: "Feeling irritated during conversations with people who voted differently from you is a natural reaction. It’s tough to have honest discussions."

 

Acknowledging fear and rage: “Your fear and rage are real and justified. It’s important to recognize that your trust has been damaged in this process.”

 

Emphasizing presence over solutions: “We don’t need to rush to fix things or immediately repair the wounds. It’s perfectly okay just to be.”

Stress as a Motivator

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We’ve already talked a bit about stress in Part 1 —the good, the bad, and those automatic behavior patterns. Stress is how our body and mind react to challenges or threats. Does your heart race before a big presentation? That’s stress kicking in, getting you ready for what comes next. Occasional stress can act as a pushy friend who gets us out of our comfort zone, propelling us towards growth and new experiences. But when stress becomes a constant part of our everyday life, it can come with a profound sense of helplessness and dread. It’s easy to believe that being stressed all the time is normal because, well, it's a feeling that’s always there. And when bigger, systemic problems aren't addressed, it makes perfect sense to feel scared and distrustful. To feel safer and regain calm we first need to face a tough truth: sometimes we’ve been treated unfairly and we’ve had little or no control over the situation or outcome. 

 

We typically deal with stress in one of three ways: 

 

• Fight: Stand up and face it head-on

• Flight: Run away and try to escape

• Freeze: Feel stuck and unable to move

 

Big issues like politics can often leave us feeling powerless. But facing these challenges with the support of friends and community can give us the courage we need to find a path forward. Remember, fear doesn’t have to be a brick wall. It can be the light that shows you what truly matters. Let your fears illuminate your path and guide your decisions.  

Your Turn: The Practice of Being

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The tension that lingers long after the ballots have been counted makes it easy to get stuck in a swirl of emotions with no clear way out. This exercise is about tuning into your feelings. It's not about judging or changing them, but simply becoming aware of what's going on inside you.

By doing this, you’re not just weathering the storm – you’re learning to turn overwhelming feelings into stepping stones for personal growth and resilience.

 

Ready to dive in and see what we discover in the process?

 

• Observe: Take a moment to notice which emotions are coming to the surface for you this week and how they may or may not be different from the week before.

 

• Acknowledge and reflect: Think back to a specific experience during this election cycle that triggered strong emotions for you. 

 

• Consider societal influences: Recognize how societal pressures and expectations influenced the way you felt 

 

• Envision empowerment: Shift your perspective from feelings of helplessness or anxiety to a place of agency and action. Who are your emotional allies (i.e. anyone who supports you and uplifts your spirit)?

 

• Practice self-compassion: During these challenging times, remember to treat yourself with kindness and understanding.

Okay, So What Now?

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The goal of this guide is to lighten the emotional weight of political trauma so we can remain buoyant in the face of distress. Yes, another “easier-said-than-done” thing, but it’s more than possible. We’re already doing it! The bottom line? We must choose change and the possibilities that come with it. 

While we may feel dismissed, disregarded, or misunderstood throughout this process, it’s essential that we show up for ourselves and each other. Remember: we’re here to create a space where our feelings are validated, our experiences are honored, and our resilience is fortified. 

 

We’re standing at a pivotal place in this  journey and it's time to take the next bold step. How do we move past the feelings of impossibility to embrace a resounding “YES!” to our lives? Often, the barriers we encounter may feel insurmountable, leaving us paralyzed. But the power to shift to a place of clarity and connection lives within us all. 

 

In Part 3 of “Empowering Resilience” (available Tuesday, December 3), we’ll focus on reclaiming the role of hero in our own stories. This includes radical acceptance and embracing change as agents of empowerment. You have the strength to meet and overcome the challenges this post-election period presents, and we are here to support you. Let’s move forward together, knowing that each moment of vulnerability is a building block in your resilience. 

 

As always, if you have any questions about this guide or want to learn more about what working together could look like, reach out to: contactus@jenayhicks.com.

*Adapted from Kessle, David, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, Workbook: Chapter 1; Where Loss Leaves you, New York, Scribner, 2024.

 

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We’re in this together

Traumatic events can really shake us up, making us feel unsafe or on edge. But we don't have to stay stuck in high-alert mode. Learning to handle stress better—and even thrive in challenging situations—is about finding that sweet spot where we're not bottling up our emotions, and not getting overwhelmed by them either. Connecting with our community can also be a huge source of strength and stability, enabling us to find creative solutions to problems that might seem too big to tackle alone.

 

As we move through these pivotal first 100 days of the election cycle, we’re here to support you. Together, we believe we can create a stronger, brighter future, no matter what this election brings.

 

Here’s what’s coming up in Part 2 (live on Tuesday, November 12, 2024!) where we’ll be focusing on the tumultuous first few weeks following the election. 

 

Some of the topics include: 

• How complex trauma impacts emotional health 

• Tolerating uncertainty in uncertain times 

• Strengthening emotional intelligence  

 

We’re also adding a few  journaling prompts and other exercises (what we’re calling “Practice for Progress”) for anyone who wants to take a deeper dive. 

 

In the meantime, if you have any questions about this guide or want to explore working together, one-on-one, or within your organization, please email: contactus@jenayhicks.com.